Buddhism and tea

Originally published as:  www.tching.com/2018/04/buddhism-and-tea/

I’ve recently broken form and written about a different subject in my tea blog, about my son becoming a samanane, or Thai Buddhist novice monk.  That was for a special two week program, covered him ordaining (here), and also how it worked out (here).  People tend to write about the overlap between Buddhism or Taoism and tea, perhaps due to having an interest in both.  I typically don’t but will make the same exception here.

Phra Vichai (left), my son Keoni (middle), his friend Sony on the right

Conventional forms of connection

Buddhism is often connected with tea in relation to the Japanese tea ceremony.  Participants prepare and serve matcha according to a very precise, structured series of steps, and per my understanding there is also a brewed-tea ceremony version.  I participated in two such ceremonies while attending Colorado State Universities and the University of Hawaii at Manoa, while studying Buddhism at both.  One source I read stood out for claiming the practice was relatively recent (within a century or so), and not really connected to prior rituals, religious or otherwise.  Perhaps it really doesn’t matter either way how old the ceremony form is, or the origins.

Taoism is one of the two predecessors to Zen Buddhism, and predates the Cha-an Chinese form of Buddhism that Zen originated from.  It’s also connected with tea practices and ritual, although I’m not clear on how it all links.  I studied Buddhism and Taoism as religion and philosophy but related more to teachings and theory, not religious rituals or forms.

My own connections with the two subjects

I ordained as a Thai Buddhist monk myself just over ten years ago, in Bangkok, where I still live, but only for two months.  There was very little connection there to tea, and I wasn’t really into tea back then.  Monks would often have tea there as part of the ceremonies, but just as something to drink, with no emphasis on type or quality, and with no ceremonial role played by it.  If you weren’t thirsty there was no need to drink it.  I did a good bit of chanting in Pali back then, but what I knew of that original sutra chanting content was quite limited in comparison with the full-time monks.

with my cat at Wat Pho, when she was a temple kitten

I’ve retained close contact with a few of those monks, and give them tea sometimes, since it now has become a personal interest.  People can give offerings to monks, with limitations on the form of what can be offered and when, but tea is not a problem. There are a lot of restrictions about food offerings, about what can be given to monks and when, and what they can retain, or choose not to eat, but a beverage is a different thing.   

In a strange twist one monk shared Da Hong Pao with me awhile back.  Monks can give away the little that they possess with others (which typically isn’t much).  The Thai Buddhist monastic tradition isn’t set up for much in the way of personal relationships to factor in, but monks are people too, and they need to maintain contact with lay-persons to perform their basic functions, teaching others Buddhism, maintaining the temples, performing rituals, etc. 

I’ve seen really interesting teaware on public display in the temple we go to most in Bangkok, Wat Pho, the one I was ordained in.  Most was just ornate versions of ceramic pots and cups, very beautiful but functionally basic Western brewing gear.  I recently ran across some gaiwans in a more secluded area, a curious stock of teaware given that it was reportedly very old.  It makes you wonder who was brewing what tea in it, related to what rituals, and when.  Lots of the more isolated and older parts of the temple are like that; there are surely stories to the artifacts there, some of which are lost from living memory. 

teaware on display in an out of the way room at Wat Pho

I was surprised in visiting a temple in Hawaii with my Thai wife--then a Thai girlfriend, and a fellow UH grad student--that the monks gave us food that grew naturally on the temple grounds.  It seemed backwards, that they shouldn’t be giving us anything.  I just looked up how that works out related to precepts (monk’s rules) related to food offerings, which I summarized in a Quora answer here.  The short version:  monks can’t farm, and even picking an apple and eating it could be counter to one interpretation of those rules.  The practices are set up for monks to live entirely off offerings (alms), not even storing food contributed from day to day.

Wat Dhammavihara location in Waianae, Ohau (credit their FB page)

Of course we didn’t bring my son and those other 87 novice monks tea, since it’s a judgment call giving kids any caffeine at all.  We brought ice cream to their retreat instead, on two separate weekends.

other novices, just before dishing out the ice cream

Editor's notes (section not included in the T Ching summary)

Two Quora answers cover more background on two of the issues that came up in this, with the first discussed a bit in TChing post comments:

At what age can children start drinking tea?

Why are Buddhist monks not allowed to grow their own food?

Keoni's take on being a Thai Buddhist novice monk

typically cheerful, Keo is on the left, with Sony in the front

Following on the last story about my son ordaining as a novice monk, we visited the temple complex  where Keoni and that group of 88 monk novices (samananes) were staying for retreat for the last two weekends, outside of Cha-am.  I had mentioned one main point of the event was to honor and dedicate merit to HRH Princess Sirinthorn, that same Thai princess we briefly met not so long ago, who I was honored to be able to give tea to.

There are lots of pictures and videos from that novice retreat on the Wat Pho FB news page.  The initial draft of this had been about visiting a first time, but by this final version we visited a second time and joined another ceremony back at Wat Pho in Bangkok (Wat Phra Chetuphon, the longer name), for him to return to lay-person status.

At the end it does get back to covering what he thought about all of it, but this drifts through some background first, about the experience.  He did what novices would do on a retreat:  sit through lectures, meditate a bit, go out on alms round, tour local areas related to the Buddhism theme, and practice chanting sutras in Pali.



On that first visit he seemed to be doing well in one sense, adapting to the environment, and enjoying time with the other kids.  He also really missed us, the most that first week, and it was hard for him.  There were long-day demands of sitting through lectures and meditation sessions.  In one sense I think this will be a great experience for him and in another I couldn't believe we agreed to it in the first place, that I would let him go through it.


Keo is a bit high-energy even as young kids go, not good for sitting in place 8 hours a day.  And he's a bit sensitive, not well-suited for adjusting to that kind of separation from family.  They let him call us a few times, even though the general theme was to not really be in close contact with family.


It's nice that he was front-left in the live sitting-session videos the temple showed, like this one, where it was also pretty obvious that he's the least composed of all the kids.  He was by far the youngest, as I'd mentioned in that last overview post, the only novice who was 9, with only two 10 years old.  I think those personality issues factor in more, not really because he's more Western-culture based, just how he is.

Keo in the front left; this broke my heart to see

He was smiling and playing with the other kids during that first visit, then even more comfortable and at ease in the second, that next weekend.  Keoni said he had no problems with any of the boys, that they all seemed very nice.  Then in quieter moments of that first weekend the seriousness of what he was doing crept in, and the fact that he was going to go through several days of separation from family again.

Phra Vichai (left), Nane Keo, and Phra Kwan

The monks seemed to go out of their way to help him.  One in particular he knew from before, Phra Kwan, a monk I stayed with when I ordained as a monk for two months ten years ago.  He and one other spoke English, a lucky break for me.  Another was more or less a supervisor (Phra Vichai), and he seemed to be particularly concerned and helpful.  Not concerned as in worried; I mean that he was actively looking out for how all the kids were doing.

eating ice cream with lunch

We brought ice cream for the novices on both Saturdays we visited, for with their lunch, lots of it.  I didn't hear much feedback from them the first time related to being busy helping scoop it out but I'm sure they loved it.  The second weekend I rushed the dishing out process to take some pictures, and that minimal interaction with the kids was nice.  Their smiles meant a lot to me.  They would try out their minimal English on me too, even if it was limited to saying "hello."

Another positive:  while we were waiting for Keoni to get back on alms round quite early that first morning Kalani and I walked around the grounds there, which were beautiful and quite natural.  Chickens and roosters walked around pecking the ground between bamboo clusters and other tropical plants, while a few temple dogs kept an eye on us.


The main assembly hall was spacious and modern, with lots of space for 88 boys to sit or sleep, with adjoining bathroom facilities and space for preparing meals.  The other buildings were much smaller and more basic, with monks' residences only very small cottages, as the monks' rules specify they have to be:


saṃghādisesa #6:  Not to build a housing exceeding 2.70 metres by 1.60 metres (2.95 yards by 1.74 yards), without the agreement of the saṃghaa, and doing harm to living beings, or not providing enough space to turn around it.

These are just broad strokes; I'll get back to more from his perspective after addressing a couple of tangents.  I wanted to mention reception for that first post and explain why we ever let him do this in the first place (or convinced him to; it was sort of a mix).

an outing day; they visited a few local places

A tangent:  blog post viewership about him becoming a novice

I was surprised that first blog post about his ordination weekend drew the most interest of any I've written, by far.  A conventional tea review post might draw 250 to 400 views over a week or so, and a more popular research or topic theme post could exceed 1000.  That post had over 9,0000 page views in less than a week.  Ordinarily I'd think a lot of that was probably from my loyal bot followers but in this case the numbers gradually climbing and related discussion indicated it was probably mostly humans reading it.

stats after a week

Why Keo became a novice, and why we went along with it

In a sense this would either be familiar within a cultural perspective or not, but I can fill in some of the background.  There are two main reasons:  it's a learning and development opportunity, in the same way attending a boy-scout camp would be, and also a Thai tradition. Those both do apply, and ultimately both are the real "why," but it's not that simple.

Keoni has been familiar with visiting temples since he was a baby.  It's not really different than a Christian being actively involved in a church, and that connection seeming normal would equate.  I did go to a local church camp when I was around his age, it just seemed a lot less formal (although details are a little hazy; I was just a kid).

with Than Jaukun, early 2014

she was a bit young in this

My wife had him practicing meditation for a number of months around a year ago, thinking that would help him focus.  He went to another local temple for that, not really a class, just informal lessons from a local monk.

proud, protective parents

All of this makes me consider how parenting involves some guesswork.  Would this be too much for him, a bit traumatic for involving more separation and adjustment than he's ready for?  Would bad experiences come up?  Or would it be fun, and a positive experience?  I didn't know.  I guessed it wasn't more than he can handle, and he would like it more than suffer due to it.  I'll add more on that in conveying his own conclusions.


We hedged that bet a bit by perhaps overdoing it with support.  He was ordained for 15 days, counting the ceremony days on both ends, and we were with him or visiting for 8.  It was hard to let go, to just give him to the temple for two weeks at his age, so we split the difference.

Keoni's take

We finally did get him back this past Sunday.  He seemed fine, comfortable and at ease, not reluctant to leave the novice position and his new friends but not in a hurry to see it finished.  He was always playing around with the other kids, kind of how he always is.  He's bright but not focused, at least not focused on things that don't interest him.  For building something out of Legos or in Minecraft he can focus as intensely and for as long as he wants to.  School is easy for him, but focusing during it doesn't seem as natural.  I think he humors me by paying just enough attention to be a straight "A" student ("4's" as they score it here), which still leaves him class time for messing around.

Kalani had a nice day that un-ordination ceremony day.  She has good patience for the waiting around parts, and played with Keo's best friend's younger sister and two other girls a lot of the time.

Kalani with her grandmother and some new friends

I was telling Phra Kwan about how they were always that way, back to the very beginning.  In the first minutes of being born Keo was quite upset by the experience, crying very loudly.  Later it occurred to me that the staff didn't seem concerned because a baby would have to be very healthy to cry that intensely, and he was just put off by it all.  Kalani was relaxed; she cried, then was curious about what she was experiencing, and was too occupied by taking things in to stay upset.

Keo was excitable even before he was born.  I sang to both kids for months before that milestone event and he would kick his mother's stomach to respond, later wriggling instead as space got tight.  Kalani would acknowledge the singing but was more subdued about it, kicking a hello only when she  felt like it.  Keo knew me the minute I held him and talked and sang, but with Kalani I could see the recognition as her expression changed, when she was only around a couple of hours old.


Back to the novice monk experience.  I had planned to get Keoni to do an interview in English, to match a version he did in Thai in that first day or two.  We kept talking to different monks, including a couple with the authority to make that happen, and all agreed to do it, but no one ever did.  Thai culture can work out like that.  My wife took it badly, and I reminded her that in Thailand sometimes yes means yes, or it can mean maybe or no instead.  It's her culture--she's Thai--but that's not the page she is on.  The idea was for Keo to tell other English speakers about his experience, not for me to help raise his visibility.  Since he was almost certainly the least orderly novice I can see why they might've had reservations, even without it being awkward doing an interview in a language they don't speak themselves.

So I'll convey his impression here instead.  One reason why that wouldn't have worked well turned up immediately, that he didn't have thought-through answers to the draft of questions I had prepared.  I'll use those as talking points since the structure works.

with his best friend there, Sony

What was most difficult about being a novice?

Separation from family, not eating dinner, the hours they slept (waking up at 4, after going to sleep at 9, with a nap filling in the gap).  He mentioned being afraid of ghosts there, which is not unprecedented related to what he says at home.  Thais really do go on too much about all that stuff.  There's a prayer room in our house dedicated to dead family members, the "monk's room," and a small shrine that pays tribute to some local elephant headed god (which has nothing to do with ghosts, it's just interesting).

I asked him if wearing a robe was a problem or not, since those are tricky to fold and keep in place, but he said it just seemed normal soon enough.

a bit emotional in a part about honoring parents

that session did make for a cool visual theme though

I think the stress of being separated from family really set in on him during a session about family roles later in the outing, about respecting your parents.  Oddly we were visiting at that time, so he knew we were right outside the door, and that he would meet with us after the session ended, but it all still really got to him.  It was good timing being there for that part.

What were your favorite parts?

Meeting the other kids, making friends.  As we talk further he might fill in details about activities he liked best but for now we didn't get to that.  He did tell me a bit about kids he liked best and one he described as "his enemy," which didn't seem like a particularly rough form of an adversarial relationship.  It's all what you'd expect; some kid was nice, another funny.  He really liked Phra Vichai. 

Keo mentioned that one had been to 5 prior versions of temporary novice ordination (I think it was), which explains why more of them didn't have problems with the process; apparently many had been through it.  11 might have been a more typical starting age, since only three were younger than that, so if Keo elects to do it again at 10 he would be a rare case of a very young but experienced temporary samanane.

might be asking for trouble putting him on the mic

at the final ceremony, more ice cream and more playing around

What is Buddhism about, what is the main point of it?

His answer:  worshiping the Buddha, more or less, and supporting good karma, learning to do what you are supposed to do.  I don't accept that the Buddha is supposed to be seen as an entity you direct attention to, but that is how Thais tend to frame that.

Per my understanding people are reborn, as much as Buddhism even needs any afterlife scheme, and the Buddha is an exception to that, since he just more or less stopped existing.  To me Buddhism really isn't about all that anyway, afterlife explanations and guesses about existence of other realms of being.  It's more or less practical psychology, just not in a form people would be familiar with in Western countries.  I was going to get Keoni to convey some meditation tips for this, or practical guidance, but that seems more appropriate to ask of a 10 or 11 year old instead.

Keo and the Wat Pho abbot, Phra Rajvachiraporn

Are there any monks you are most grateful to for their help?

with Phra Vichai (left) and Sony

One monk I knew as monk myself, Phra Kwan, and he helped me by updating me on how Keo was doing.  I would have expected him to be the main support for Keo, but apparently another called Phra Vichai, a supervisor of sorts, was the one who looked after him most.  Keo slept beside the two of them, which somehow related to being more protected from ghosts that way.  Monks sleep on the floor, of course (that's familiar, isn't it?), but he said rather than being too hot, as it normally is in Thailand, it was a bit cool sometimes.


All of that monk staff did seem nice.  Phra Kwan said they all seemed to like Keo, that him being cheerful and positive was more a factor than him being a trouble-maker was a problem.  He was teaching Phra Vichai some English, they said; nice that he tried to be helpful.

Conclusions?

Keo and I will both be awhile placing all that happened.  I probably never will do that interview with him, since that made more sense while he was still a novice (samanane).  We'll go easy on him at first and by the time Songkran rolls around at the end of this week, the Thai traditional New Year, only the haircut will be a reminder.  I'll have him visit those monks, to say thanks, and to get to see them again, although Phra Kwan we already see, related to religious events or just stopping by there.  We will most likely give them tea (what else), but that will be it.  I probably took those concerns more seriously than I needed to, and stressed out for those two weeks over nothing.

Keo misses those friends and has already talked about going back to do it again next year to see them.  But he was happy to get back to familiar territory, to see his mother and grandmother, to play Risk and Monopoly, and read to his sister before bed.  She won't have him caught up enough on hugs anytime soon.

offering alms to Nane Keoni in Cha-am

My son becomes a novice monk (samanane) in Bangkok

the ordination program is in honor of HRH Princess Sirinthorn's birthday

The first draft of this I wrote while listening to a samanane / novice training session, in Thai.  I could pick up around a third of it if I paid attention but it's hard to focus on missing two thirds of what is said.  I'm at Wat Pho, one of the main temples in Bangkok (with a FB news page here).  In updating a Trip Advisor review about the temple I noticed it's listed as the number one attraction in Bangkok there; not bad.

I'm the only parent here, at 8:30 PM.  These kids have been through a long day of listening to all sorts of talks, and religious ceremony, and a once in a lifetime haircut experience.  No adult would be as fresh as they still are.

Other families were here earlier, all day today during the actual ordination ceremony, and yesterday during a day-long training session.  We've given up the game of making Keoni not seem different than everyone else through initiating differences like that, of me being here longer.  He's not different in any important sense but he is the youngest novice in the group, the only one who is mixed race, and a member of two different cultures.

Keo as a samanane / novice!

his best novice friend Sony is just behind him

In a sense Thais are better with generalities and differences than Americans anyway.  They don't blow all that out of proportion.  Sure, they drag in some error based on expecting people from different countries or cultures to be similar in some ways, and that goes way too far in some cases, but to a limited extent generalizing sort of works too.  You just have to subtract back out when patterns that only sometimes apply make no sense (culture or gender stereotypes), versus mostly rejecting that there are any generalities instead.

friendly owners of that family business

I'll get back to that and mention more about the subject theme and events first.  There was a thin tie-in with the subject of tea to be had since I ducked out during that first training day to visit a local Bangkok tea shop.  It's near the flower market beside Wat Pho, the Ong Yong Choon shop.  I shared most of that tea I bought with the monks too (an Anxi TKY), since I bought it in the form of a set of small packs.  This runs too long to get into that; I'll do a post on there later, and break form and just write about Buddhism instead.

Background

88 boys are becoming novices to make merit in honor of the Thai princess HRH Princess Sirinthorn's birthday, if I've got that right (every event reference is always in Thai).  She is the princess I just gave tea to in that event in Kamphaeng Pet, which is a completely different story.

the "before" picture

before picture with his sister and our cat

From how Keoni might see this event it could be comparable to a strange form of summer camp. Thai Buddhist religious practices in general are all about mystical forces bestowing merit (good karma).  One might expect that I'd be more on that page, having ordained myself.



I don't completely reject those ideas since I'm very agnostic, but I'm also a bit plain minded.  Simpler explanations work better, and being skeptical about the supernatural makes sense to me.  No matter whether the mystical forces kick in or not he'll come back different after two weeks, a time frame that includes this past weekend.  His range will be stretched just a little.

the training class first day, still wearing lay-person's clothing

There isn't much for novices to do, other than helping out a little.  The role is mostly about learning.  When I ordained one Thai aunt said being a monk is a lifestyle choice as much as anything, and it sort of works with that.  This experience is a little like being in a Christian school.  No one would go to a Christian school for two weeks but of course it's only a sort of analogy.  A Christian camp theme is conceivable, and I went on one such outing as a child.  It wouldn't make as much sense in the US now, with all forms of ideology and group orientation there drifting towards extremes.

I suppose they will brainwash him a bit. Good luck to them making that stick; he's on the independent side.  I wouldn't mind if they spent some time on Buddhist teachings.  I dedicated about a decade of my life to the study of that, before I went back to school to formally study religion and philosophy in two different degree programs, which took another five years.

novices in training sleeping beside Buddha statues

Based on my prior experience they wouldn't be focusing on what was of most interest to me, getting to the true meaning of core ideas like the Buddha's rejection of self, focusing on potential changes to ordinary perception.  It would be about stories instead.  Mythology can encode a lot in the way of behavior norms and life-choice advice into stories.


Jordan Peterson--my favorite psychologist--has done a lot with developing that interpretive theme.  He's a bit of a controversial figure for a complicated set of reasons, but most of his work isn't about the themes that work out to be controversial.


In some cases those stories in mythology are just stories, and not really encoded wisdom condensed into a story format.  Sometimes they can be a derivation of content that had probably been much more central and relevant before the changes.

further along the process, in white robes, with their heads shaved

Keo and Sony

A little about the temple, Wat Pho

It's been 10 years since I stayed at Way Pho while ordained for just over two months.  That was more or less one form of introduction to Thai culture for me.  I knew a good bit about Buddhism then but I'd only been in Thailand for two or three months at that point, so not so much about Thai culture.



Related to when I'm writing these initial notes, the temple is fantastic at night, the best time of the day to experience the look of it.  The peace and quiet is unusual for anywhere in Bangkok; parks don't even seem this quiet.  I just learned that the temple is now open to visitors until 10 PM, and I am seeing people coming in at 9 to walk around, often with a tour guide.

I should mention that my wife studied for something like 9 months to be a tour guide, and is certified as one.  She's not really registered as working out of this temple, if there is even such a thing, but she could probably sort that out.


She and I met in Hawaii in grad school when we both studied there.  It's a longer story about why a former journalist with two Master's degrees trained to be a tour guide.


My wife has an unusual level of connection to this temple:  her father and grandfather's ashes are here, under a Buddha statue that her family contributed funds to have renovated.  For a Thai all of that is familiar ground, how ashes are stored in different places, often in a religious establishment, or oddly potentially even split up (per my understanding).

their "family Buddha," which of course they don't own

All that leads to a superstition that temples might be haunted, which I'm not sure that many people would accept.  The room I slept in part of the time as a monk had lots of shrines to deceased relatives, and remains (ashes) stored there.  I had no fear of ghosts.  If those people came back as disembodied spirits they'd probably be interesting to meet, even if they couldn't communicate clearly.  And they'd probably go somewhere familiar instead, to their old homes, not to the temple.

Keo being different

Keoni isn't just different related to race, age, appearance, being bilingual, and having over-protective parents.  He's outgoing.  In the US that would stand out less, but he would seem outgoing there too.  There's a cool saying tied to that related to Japanese culture:  the nail that sticks out gets hammered down.  Thailand isn't like Japan, culturally, but it is more social group and norm-compliance oriented than my original culture, in the US.

Keo just reminded me of that by commenting during the talk, their training class I'm watching.  He does that.  I remember during a school presentation when he was 4 or 5 when the principal was talking about different groups participating, younger kids clapping at a certain cue or something such.  He piped up recommending parents could also participate.  The idea worked, they used it, but the point was more about him being outgoing than clever.  He's also a little sensitive, which is the only part that had me concerned about this.  He's the only 9 year old that ordained with this group of 88 kids, and only two were 10, with the rest older.

beside the abbot of Wat Pho, Phra Rajvachiraporn

he's still cheeky

Keoni took it all well, two days of meetings, being out in the heat, memorization, and disrupted sleep.  He made a best friend early on and that changed everything. We really do owe a lot to that kid, who is nicknamed Sony (like the TV), for helping him with the transition.  Keoni has been through a lot with schooling so he's got some range to him, at times dealing with the extra demands and stress of being different, of being mixed race.  Mostly other kids are nice about it but not always.  It saddens me to hear about the exceptions, problems he faces, but he will be stronger for not having it easy all of the time.


He's never been away from us, except to spend one night at a friend's house a month or two ago, perfect timing for that.  He doesn't really even visit grandparents. We live with one, his grandmother, which makes more sense in Thailand, but don't see that much of my family, less than every other year.

with Phra Kwan and Than Jaukun Udon (right)

I probably should ease up with the tangents and explain the whole novice idea, and ordination process.  The Buddha's son Rahula was the first novice, or so the story goes, a made-up position to let younger people take part in a monastic tradition.  The Buddhist tradition had included female monks early on too, and Thais know the female form of novice, there just never is such a role (samanari).  I'll do one more tangent about differences between Thai culture and the West related to how personal differences are viewed, race issues and such, and get back to explaining how the ordination actually went, just not in a lot of detail.  The main theme was hours of talks and ceremonies, mostly based on chanting in Pali.

Thai culture related to race, and differences in general

I was explaining to someone recently about how Thais haven't embraced the American obsession with political correctness and being touchy about differences.  They don't use the concept of "privilege" in any special way, and of course that wouldn't map literally and directly since the majority here isn't white.  An example:  you can tell someone they're fat here.  I saw a high ranking monk I hadn't seen in awhile walking into the temple on Friday evening, and he mentioned that I'd put on some weight.

It's also not a big deal for people to be transgender here.  It's on individuals to define how they want their self-identity and social role to come across, and people don't make much of all that.  Men identifying as women is better known and more common but the reverse comes up too.

I suppose there are pros and cons to the differences, as they extend to race and other issues.  People are more open to racial stereotyping, and treating people of different social levels differently isn't just accepted, it's more or less mandatory.  The focus on not accepting the more negative sides of all that in US culture is positive, of leveling out effects of differences, keeping options and opportunity more open to more people.  On the negative side it could go too far back there, actually restricting speech instead of making it more polite, or extending into conclusions or perspective that stopped making sense somewhere along the way.  All this has to transition back to the theme of Thai culture related to religion instead, but some of what I'm saying about Keoni can't be interpreted without being aware of some differences.

88 of them together, all such sweet kids

Positive racial prejudice gets to be a strange part too; Keoni could experience preferential treatment and more options than others, in some cases.  A lot of Thai television and movie stars are mixed race, Asian and white / of European origin, perhaps related to appearance as much as any culture-themed issue.  If the mix of features works out well the kids and adults can be beautiful.

There is hardly any race or culture background mix or condition that would be relevant or appropriate to ever mention in a religious or educational setting back in the US.  Here it's nothing to be avoided; it's interesting that he's different, in that setting too.  Even being his parent it's hard for me to fully appreciate what that means.  He is Thai but also American, related to having passports, but beyond that he can "do" both perspectives.  Switching back and forth between languages seamlessly is absolutely amazing but in a sense it's not the most amazing thing he does.

You might think he would just soak it up, as with the languages; he hears two and learns both, from birth onwards.  It wasn't that easy.  We moved him from a British school to a Thai school and it was hard for him, a shock, and then later to another different school.  He's been through more diverse cultural exposure than most people experience in a lifetime, at 9.  Visiting a lot of countries on vacation was hardly even an issue compared to all that; you just see a different background as you go through roughly the same tourism activities.

his grandmother offering food to the new samanane

Ordination, and how it's going so far with Keoni

Learning vows was the big hurdle, with lots of training about what to expect and restrictions.  They can't eat after noon, as monks don't.  Getting a really early start and doing a big breakfast and lunch offsets that.  You sort of don't miss it.  Monks can drink a milk or a soymilk and those help with a craving.

Of course he did get his head shaved; that part makes for a big transition.  Keo walked around asking the other kids he knew "who are you?," emphasizing the oddity of the appearance transition.  I was wondering if he'd look cute bald and he most definitely does.  I'd have to choose "with hair" as a preference but he totally pulls it off.

It was odd for them to train to be samananes for a whole day but not actually be that, but now they are.  More rules and restrictions apply, mostly. And they all look cute in orange.  The temple monks and staff are taking them on an outing (to Cha-am) so they'll be out of the way of some of what they shouldn't be doing.

It doesn't really work to describe the steps involved with ordaining.  There is a lot of chanting in Pali involved, taking vows, and that haircut, and at one point the novices-to-be walk around the main temple three times, followed by lay-persons carrying offerings.  They throw coins wrapped in bright cloth or ribbons at one point, which are good luck to possess.  All of it is good luck, it seems, or different steps relate to accumulating different degrees of merit.

that is a really dramatic part of the process

the eyebrows go too; that's why he looks so different

Spending the weekend at the temple with Kalani

It was interesting spending two days at the temple with his four year old sister. She and I kept checking out during the talks to go see Buddha statues (just never the main one, a huge reclining Buddha), and whatever was going on in the main ceremony hall.  And one day day we more or less crashed what I think was a memorial service to eat a Thai desert.  They hold memorials for the deceased annually in Thailand, continued forever, so grief is less of an issue than when someone close to the family just died.  We were welcomed as visitors where we already happened to be.

Hundreds of people caught part of what Keoni was doing too.  They gave away free drinks at one other station there, but I think those drinks were unrelated, just something else that was happening.  Wat Pho is a busy place, a major tourist attaction, so there's often lots going on.

It was fun hanging out with Kalani.  She is so bright and sweet that she's always a joy to spend time with.  On the second ordination day I wasn't feeling 100 percent based on staying busy and not sleeping well and it was nice having a cousin and his wife step in as playmates.

with my wife's cousin's wife during one ceremony

She's funny in ways that overlap with how Keo is.  In a sense she's more reserved, not quite as quick to open up to people when she first meets them.  In a different sense she's even more socially oriented, less into interests like video games and toys that build things, Legos and trains, and more into pretending to be a teacher or a nurse, or dancer.  For Keo Minecraft helped him combine those two interests, and although he's now past that phase he built lots of elaborate structures and worlds at an unbelievable pace.

Being four she could only understand what's going on with Keoni being a novice on a limited level, but monks aren't new to her.  Her grandmother gives alms to the local monks every Monday, food she cooks herself.  And we're at temples for birthdays and those memorial services, and when other things come up, just not as often for religious holidays as we might get around to.  I kept asking her if she could be a "samanari," a female novice, and sometimes it sounded like a good idea to her and sometimes it didn't.  Obviously we aren't going to try to go anywhere with that idea; it was just a discussion point.

She and I attended a few other ceremonies.  One was an ordination of an older guy into becoming a monk, maybe around 40-some years old, most likely for a temporary ordination, but who knows.  More typically Thai males will ordain for a week or two in their 20's, perhaps only doing that a second time to make merit (for a religious observation) if a close relative dies.  Unless a restriction is coded as rule, as in the case of the 227 monks' rules, or as a culturally based restriction or observance, any of the rest is flexible.


At one point Kalani reminded me that it was the part of a ceremony where you need to hold your hands in a prayer-like position, and at the end she reminded me to do a different version of a "wai" three times, a combination of that hand gesture and a bow.  She catches a lot.


That's the funny part about four year olds in general, not just her, that they combine silliness and random play with a very sophisticated worldview.  Different kids would pick different things up, at different times, and it's amazing how much a relatively bright four year old knows.  It's not theory to them, of course, they absorb ideas and practices by observation, and copy it all.

About Wat Pho, more detail

Wat Pho is one of the two best-known temples in Bangkok, along with the Grand Palace temple Wat Phra Kaew, the Temple of the Jade Buddha, which is part of a larger complex.  Wat Pho is an abbreviation of the former temple name, the real name is Wat Phra Chetuphon Vimolmangklararm Rajwaramahaviharn, or just Wat Phra Chetuphon is sometimes used instead.  I just wrote a Trip Advisor review that would make for a good blog post, except that this isn't a travel blog, titled "what you may not know about Wat Pho."  I'll just include a few ideas from that, a much shorter version.

hours:  it's open until 10 PM now, but I'd already mentioned that.  Due to evening events and living at the temple I'd been around in the evenings before and it's by far my favorite time of the day there.

Buddha statues:  the giant reclining Buddha statue is best known but the main ceremonial hall has a really impressive version too, and there are lots of other giant Buddha statues in other buildings.  Open walk-ways include countless Buddha images, many restored to original condition, and many others in various states of aging and wear.  There are other things to see everywhere, very old panels documenting Thai massage practices, and small statues on the same theme, even an old alligator pen, although that part may be closed now.  It's my understanding that the many chedis (conical structures) around the temple grounds, some huge and some smaller, all really do contain remains of the deceased.

the Buddha statue in the main ceremony hall

massage and meditation classes:  the temple offers these.  Their website leads to a second official massage school website, but the meditation classes are new enough that I'm not aware of much web content describing that yet.  My wife studied massage there (she's really into pursuing tangents; she's studied Japanese and Mandarin languages too, in addition to journalism and education), but I'm not sure how that works for foreigners studying there, if the instruction is as complete in English.  I just spoke with the head of the meditation school, a monk I knew from being ordained there, and with an instructor, and both of them speak clear English.

in Cha-am; taking a break to clean up and lighten up

Closing

I'm editing this final version during the first days Nane Keoni is on his own in Cha-am, two days after their initial ordination, so I'll leave off in the middle of this story.  Of course I really miss him.  They keep posting live direct links to real time videos of them on their Facebook information page.  He's sitting in the front left corner, if they stay in that arrangement.  It's the same place he was in the classes back at the temple, grouped with the other youngest novices.  They seem to sit a lot, but maybe since I've only checked in now and again they might have spent a lot of time on break.  They did an interview post with him the next day, but of course it's in  Thai.

I later realized I wasn't paying attention to when a live-feed post was really live and when I was watching the posted video version.  And I heard from a monk there that Keoni was having problems, not feeling well in the evening.  I think it was just homesickness combined with all the transition, changing when he eats, and sitting a good bit.  It probably didn't help having an extra parent around for those extra evening check-ins over the weekend; that part may have been a mistake. That time gave those kids exposure to the idea of separation while they were still there, and were still going to have parents there to see them off on retreat on Monday morning.

I might write a follow-up in two weeks about how it went, with more on his take.

in Cha-am, in a session, with Keo on the left in the front

on retreat; great to see those smiles (credit Wat Pho's news page)